Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost
It's difficult to come up with words more perfect than the above poem from Mr. Frost. Much like the Buddha states, life is suffering or as Colin Meloy and The Decemberists sang in their cautionary tale about The Hazards of Love....once you open you heart fully for a living being, the deal will be it won't last forever. We had to say goodbye to our sweet Willie this past January and it took a bit for me to get some thoughts together to reflect and celebrate his life.
Willie first came into our lives back in September of 2012. Although we don't know his full history it seems that life didn't have a joyful start. He was shy and hesitant around humans but seemed to feel safety around other dogs.A month or so into his adoption he grew violently ill and wouldn't stop vomiting. After X-rays were done, it was discovered he had two full sized granite rocks in his stomach and had to have emergency surgery to cut them out. Before this happened a dog trainer pointed out that he walked a bit funny but wasn't sure why. Apparently the rocks had been in there for a bit and were uncomfortable to him but they dislodged to a different part of his stomach which eventually caused the vomiting. We were told by the vet when dogs are starving they can resort to eating dirt and rocks. Yeah, I'm with Willie....sometimes I don't like humans very much either.
After the recovery Willie slowly became more comfortable around us and after spending all his time in the corner, he started coming out to the middle of the carpet and resting while we watched TV. To the outside observer this may not have seemed like a big deal, but to us it was exciting progress. He was starting to trust us. When we adopted Willie we were told he wouldn't be the dog that greeted you as you walked in the door (they were right) although after some time we'd get the raised head, a stare down, and then back to sleep.
He was a sweet soul that loved most foods...especially eggs, cheese, salmon and peanut butter.....not too keen on veggies. He would often put carrots in his mouth and spit them out. Confused why they didn't have more flavor. Celery seemed like a waste of time as well. While cooking he would stand nearby, staring almost in a hypnotic state waiting for his portion. He liked things to be consistent. On his daily walks around the neighborhood we'd take the same path and if you tried to go off course he would politely correct you. If furniture moved or a new box appeared in the house he was a bit skeptical about the situation. He tolerated car rides but if it were up to him he preferred the floorboards to the seat. He enjoyed getting brushed (as long as treats were available) and loved under his back leg scratched (he would assist and lift up his leg so you could hit his spot) before his joints got too sore. He never went upstairs at either of the homes we lived in and never got on furniture. He had free reign to do either but just never got around to it. Also he never barked...well only when he was dreaming. When we stayed at vacation rentals he liked to check in on us when we went to bed but if we were in a two bedroom he would eventually take himself to the empty room and settle in for the night.
I loved him so much and he made the past 12 years such a joy. I still talk to him and when I come back to the house or go downstairs in the middle of the night I almost expect (hope) to see him lying in the carpet, staring at me, seeing if I have any food to share. I believe someday we'll welcome another four legged friend into the house but there will never be another Willie. He was one of a kind. He was my bal (somehow once I blurred buddy and pal together and it stuck) Willie Billy, Silly Willie, the best dog in the world (which he was told multiple times a day and was whispered in his ear over and over as we said goodbye) I love you and I miss you. Thanks for everything you did for us. Shout out to Miss Jean and the Collie Rescue of the Carolinas for all the great work they do and for bringing Willie into our lives.
A few weeks ago on a rainy Saturday afternoon I put on Beach House to fit the mood. I'd heard the first track off Depression Cherry many times but the words hit differently that afternoon and made me think of Willie and that day we had to make the difficult decision to end his pain. Thanks for reading. This one's for Willie.
