"I won't come back
I hope some day you'll understand
I want to try and make it right
But don't know if I can"
Ah the 20’s, what a strange, complex and confusing era of
life. For the first time peers and acquaintances seemed to be navigating the
world at different speeds. No longer confined to the same school and grade structure
for me it was a weird “sitting in limbo” moment. Going from living in squalor
as a student with multiple roommates to acting kind of like an adult living
with a few less roommates in a little less squalor. Some friends
decided to get married early and start a family while others (including myself)
charted the single path and just let the universe guide us hoping for signs pointing
us in the right direction. By my early 20’s I had experienced two “serious”
relationships and as the story goes two different versions of heartbreak. Each
one scarred me in different ways and as a defense mechanism I became bitter and jaded
about commitment. Like a lot of us I attended many weddings in a short amount
of time, each ceremony seemed to blend into the other with the same vows and same
pomp and circumstance. I was just ready for the reception to begin hoping they’d
have the beer I enjoyed and maybe hear a song or two I dug. Don’t get me wrong I
had a blast at many receptions with friends, but my head would spin during the ceremonies
wondering how and why are you doing this? Turned out my initial question was
sometimes correct as some of these couples are no longer together but at least
the parties were fun.
Reflecting on those days I realize it was just immaturity
and self-doubt that made me feel the way I did. I could’ve just been happy for
the parties involved and hoped for the best while realizing sometimes things
just don’t work out. I got married after the age of 30 which was the right time
for me. The universe finally pointed me in the right direction, or I just
matured and opened myself up to the possibility of commitment again. Now in my
early 40’s I wish more peers were getting married because I miss going to
weddings!
So, what was I listening too during these Gen X fueled
view of the world early 20’s days? Why other bitter, jaded, heartbroken bands
that vindicated my view of the world of course! Yes, I too fell into the world
of EMO. I went from bad boys with long hair and leather singing power ballads
to dudes with sleeve tattoos, tight t shirts, and skinny jeans. Dashboard Confessional,
Face to Face, Saves the Day, The Cure (one of the OG’s of the genre) all were
in heavy rotation. I still enjoy going back to some of these bands but one that
has stuck with me through the decades is The Get Up Kids.(Plus I think The Cure rule) The Kids first album came out in 1997 but I didn’t discover them
till around 2001 and was lucky to catch them live during this period. My gateway
album was 1999’s Something to Write Home About. This was the more
polished, produced follow up to their first foray, Four Minute Mile. The
first album is a bit urgent and sloppier, but you can see the roots of where
the band would eventually land. A few other albums have come out despite many hiatuses
over the years (most recently Problems in 2019) In fact the band was
starting to tour again last year but we all now what's happened to live music for
the time being. So being the 80’s mark that I am when a band has song
references to The Outsiders (Stay Gold, Ponyboy) and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
(this tune) I’m going to give it a shot. This song about one-night stands and
being emotionally unavailable hit all the right cords for me back in my early
20’s. I was certainly no Wilt Chamberlain or Gene Simmons, but I was a king at
not letting anyone get too close. Glad those days are over, and I can leave
those thoughts to The Get Up Kids.
